Dear Zayna…

Oh baby yeah, what a quite artist i am(: That is my six longest hours of sketching art work ever since I was freshman! yay me! But Its not finish yet! Any idea what to add in this picture?

with this girl deeply than it gotten..

I miss her beautiful face.
I miss her blonde hair
I miss her smell, its smell like her
I miss her smile, it made my heart races harder,
I miss her blue sweet eyes, that make me fell into her eyes,
I miss being in her arms, and feel so safe,
I miss feel safe when im around her

What am i doing?
Am i about to giving up trying?
No,no i will not–for us.
I need you badly,
you don’t even know,
i just do
Its not the same.. ;(
Will i find myself in your arms again?
Miss you make me want just to disappear…

i hope she knows how much she mean a lot to me..

alone i went off, without nobody’s care for me.
in my world everything was gray and ugly
i cant tell how you have changed my world into beautiful world..
its you came along with those blue eyes that won me over and
I falling in love, you make it everything perfect.
as my world stop move when i look into your eyes,
my heart racing so hard,
your eyes make my leg went
weak,weak,weak,weak,weak..

Ill never be same without you,
’cause without you i get through the cold and rain,
but with you i get through sun and those happy moments.
Id though you should know that you are my hero.

let grow old together with my heart in your hand and yours in mine,
we will face those world together,’cause you and i
both will grow together old.
its you who Ive been waiting for
i wont tear up your heart, i wont broke your heart, i wont throw your heart out,
its very precious to me as you are.
im going treat it amazing like how ill treat you.

when you are beside me, i dont feel alone..
my care have been felling in your arms,
your smile take my breath away,
i barely remember how to breathe again..
’cause you still the most amazing thing
that happens to me…

I’ve done so much… I need stop to beyond my love for you. It’s hurt us.

and hard?

Why cant the roommates  give us respects?
Why cant the roommates and i get along?
Why cant the roomates help around in the house?
Why cant the roommates help with the money issues?
Why cant the roommates being honest?
Why cant the roommates be frank into my face?
Why cant the roommates cant be all fair and simply??

fuck this.
Its payback time.

SO DIFFICULT?

I love this girl ever since and i feel like she has no way to trust me because she is scared. I honestly would never do anything to hurt this girl. I trust myself and my gut. Im going to marry her no matter what.

:(

And I cant wait for the fucking presents(:

fuck Santa Claus

America I’ve given you all and now I’m nothing.

America two dollars and twenty-seven cents January 17, 1956.

I can’t stand my own mind.
America when will we end the human war?
Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb
I don’t feel good don’t bother me.
I won’t write my poem till I’m in my right mind.
America when will you be angelic?
When will you take off your clothes?
When will you look at yourself through the grave?
When will you be worthy of your million Trotskyites?
America why are your libraries full of tears?
America when will you send your eggs to India?
I’m sick of your insane demands.
When can I go into the supermarket and buy what I need with my good looks?
America after all it is you and I who are perfect not the next world.
Your machinery is too much for me.
You made me want to be a saint.
There must be some other way to settle this argument.
Burroughs is in Tangiers I don’t think he’ll come back it’s sinister.
Are you being sinister or is this some form of practical joke?
I’m trying to come to the point.
I refuse to give up my obsession.
America stop pushing I know what I’m doing.
America the plum blossoms are falling.
I haven’t read the newspapers for months, everyday somebody goes on trial for
murder.
America I feel sentimental about the Wobblies.
America I used to be a communist when I was a kid and I’m not sorry.
I smoke marijuana every chance I get.
I sit in my house for days on end and stare at the roses in the closet.
When I go to Chinatown I get drunk and never get laid.
My mind is made up there’s going to be trouble.
You should have seen me reading Marx.
My psychoanalyst thinks I’m perfectly right.
I won’t say the Lord’s Prayer.
I have mystical visions and cosmic vibrations.
America I still haven’t told you what you did to Uncle Max after he came over
from Russia.

I’m addressing you.
Are you going to let our emotional life be run by Time Magazine?
I’m obsessed by Time Magazine.
I read it every week.
Its cover stares at me every time I slink past the corner candystore.
I read it in the basement of the Berkeley Public Library.
It’s always telling me about responsibility. Businessmen are serious. Movie
producers are serious. Everybody’s serious but me.
It occurs to me that I am America.
I am talking to myself again.

Asia is rising against me.
I haven’t got a chinaman’s chance.
I’d better consider my national resources.
My national resources consist of two joints of marijuana millions of genitals
an unpublishable private literature that goes 1400 miles and hour and
twentyfivethousand mental institutions.
I say nothing about my prisons nor the millions of underpriviliged who live in
my flowerpots under the light of five hundred suns.
I have abolished the whorehouses of France, Tangiers is the next to go.
My ambition is to be President despite the fact that I’m a Catholic.

America how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?
I will continue like Henry Ford my strophes are as individual as his
automobiles more so they’re all different sexes
America I will sell you strophes $2500 apiece $500 down on your old strophe
America free Tom Mooney
America save the Spanish Loyalists
America Sacco & Vanzetti must not die
America I am the Scottsboro boys.
America when I was seven momma took me to Communist Cell meetings they
sold us garbanzos a handful per ticket a ticket costs a nickel and the
speeches were free everybody was angelic and sentimental about the
workers it was all so sincere you have no idea what a good thing the party
was in 1835 Scott Nearing was a grand old man a real mensch Mother
Bloor made me cry I once saw Israel Amter plain. Everybody must have
been a spy.
America you don’re really want to go to war.
America it’s them bad Russians.
Them Russians them Russians and them Chinamen. And them Russians.
The Russia wants to eat us alive. The Russia’s power mad. She wants to take
our cars from out our garages.
Her wants to grab Chicago. Her needs a Red Reader’s Digest. her wants our
auto plants in Siberia. Him big bureaucracy running our fillingstations.
That no good. Ugh. Him makes Indians learn read. Him need big black niggers.
Hah. Her make us all work sixteen hours a day. Help.
America this is quite serious.
America this is the impression I get from looking in the television set.
America is this correct?
I’d better get right down to the job.
It’s true I don’t want to join the Army or turn lathes in precision parts
factories, I’m nearsighted and psychopathic anyway.
America I’m putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.